Mental health is a complex and often overwhelming experience that can affect anyone, and while you may not be able to ‘fix’ your friends or partner’s mental health condition, your support can make a meaningful difference in their lives.

If you have a friend struggling with any mental health condition, knowing how to be there for them without overstepping boundaries or minimising their feelings is an important aspect in the relationship.

Through compassion, you are able to help the person in your life with their mental health journey, here’s how.

Educate yourself about the mental health challenges that your loved one faces 

Understanding what the person finds difficult and how it manifests can help you support your friend better. Mental health isn’t just about a feeling —it’s conditions that can cause intense, often irrational fears, physical symptoms like headaches or nausea, and interfere with daily activities. By learning more about the condition, you can be more empathetic and less likely to make assumptions.

A good place to start is reading articles, books, or even attending workshops or online webinars on mental health. The more informed you are, the more helpful you can be.

Be an active listener

When your friend opens up about their what they are feeling, be present. Sometimes, all they need is someone who will listen without judgment. Here’s how you can practice active listening:

• Give them your full attention. Put down your phone, make eye contact, and truly focus on what they’re saying.
• Resist the urge to offer quick solutions. Often, people with anxiety aren’t looking for solutions; they want to feel heard and understood.
• Acknowledge their feelings. Instead of dismissing their concerns, say something like, “I can see why you feel that way” or “It sounds like you’re going through a lot.”

This kind of validation can be incredibly comforting to someone experiencing anxiety.

Offer practical help, not just words

Sometimes mental health can make day-to-day tasks feel overwhelming. Offer practical help to ease their burden:

• Assist with tasks. You can offer to run errands with or for them, help clean their space, or even just sit with them while they tackle something difficult.
• Be specific with your offers. Instead of saying, “Let me know if you need help,” try “Would it help if I came over and helped you organise your room?” Specific offers make it easier for them to accept help.

However, be mindful not to overwhelm them with too much assistance. It’s important to ask what kind of support they need and respect their boundaries.

Be patient and understanding

Mental health can sometimes cause people to cancel plans, withdraw socially, or act in ways that may seem irrational. It’s important to be patient and avoid taking it personally. Understand that their behaviour is not a reflection of your friendship but a result of what they are battling.

Let them know that you’re there for them, even when they cancel last minute or can’t explain why they’re feeling anxious. Your consistent, non-judgmental presence can be incredibly reassuring.

Encourage healthy habits, but don’t force them

While mental health can be mitigated by healthy lifestyle changes, such as regular exercise, good nutrition, or mindfulness practices, your role as a friend for partner is to gently encourage, not push. You can offer to go for a walk together, attend a yoga class, or even try a meditation app, but respect their decision if they decline.

Offer options and be supportive, but avoid becoming too prescriptive about what they “should” do. Remember, they are the expert on their own needs.

Avoid minimising their experience

Statements like “just relax” or “you’re overreacting” may seem harmless, but they can invalidate your friend’s feelings and make them feel worse. Mental health isn’t something that can be turned off with a switch, so avoid comments that suggest your friend is in control of their anxiety or can simply stop feeling anxious.

Instead, offer reassurance: “I’m here for you” or “What can I do to help?” These kinds of statements show you’re willing to support them in ways that matter to them.

Respect their boundaries

Everyone manages their mental health differently, and it’s essential to respect your friend’s boundaries. Sometimes they may not want to talk about their condition, triggers and challengers, and that’s okay. Respect their space while letting them know you’re available when they’re ready.

It’s also helpful to ask your friend how they prefer to be supported. Some people may want to talk through their anxious feelings, while others might need distraction or alone time.

Encourage professional help when needed

While you can offer emotional support, there may come a time when your friend needs professional help, whether from a therapist, counsellor, or doctor. Gently encourage them to seek professional help if their mental health condition seems to be overwhelming their life.

You can offer to help them find resources, such as a mental health professional or support group, but don’t push them into anything before they’re ready.

Take care of yourself, too

Supporting a friend with mental health can be emotionally demanding, so it’s important to take care of your own mental and emotional health. Set boundaries when necessary, and don’t be afraid to take a step back if you’re feeling overwhelmed. It’s okay to let your friend know that you need some time for yourself while still being supportive overall.

Practicing self-care will enable you to be a better, more resilient friend in the long run.

Being a friend to someone with a mental health condition means offering empathy, patience, and practical support. While you can’t solve their what they are going through, your presence and understanding can help ease their burden. Ultimately, it’s the small acts of kindness and understanding that can make someone’s anxiety a little more bearable.

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