When your partner is on their period, the goal isn’t to ‘solve’ their pain or tiptoe around their mood. It’s about showing up in a way that says, “I see you, and I’ve got your back.” As someone who’s been on the other side of this monthly marathon, here’s what actually matters—and what doesn’t.
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1. Ditch the script and listen to her
The best thing you can do? Ask, “What do you need today?” and mean it. Some days they’ll want to vent about cramps ruining their life. Other days, they’ll just want you to shut off the lights, hand them the heating pad, and exist quietly nearby…
Resist the urge to problem-solve. Instead, match their energy—if they’re laughing at memes, laugh with them. If they’re cursing the universe, curse with them.
2. Learn the rhythm of her cycle (without being weird about it)
You don’t need a spreadsheet, but pay attention. If she’s always exhausted by day two, don’t plan a hiking trip that week. If she’s raiding the snack draw at 10 PM, stock up on chocolate beforehand. Notice the patterns, but don’t make it a lecture. A simple, “Hey, I picked up your favourite tea—just in case,” says more than you’d realise.
3. Feed her like you mean it
Period hunger isn’t a joke! Keep their go-to snacks on deck (sweet, salty, crunchy—the trifecta), and don’t judge the 3 AM cereal run. If you’re cooking, lean into iron-rich meals: think lentil stew, spinach salads, or a steak if they’re into it. And for the love of all things holy, clean the kitchen afterward without being asked. A sink full of dishes is the last thing they need to side-eye.
Pexels / Rachel Claire
4. Normalise the awkward stuff
Buying tampons shouldn’t be a heroic act. It’s as mundane as grabbing toothpaste. If you’re at the store, text them: “Need anything from aisle 5?” If they leave a pad on the bathroom counter, don’t treat it like a biohazard. And if they’re self-conscious about bloating? Tell them they look great, then distract them with tacos. Periods are biology, not a scandal.
5. Master the art of distraction
When cramps or mood swings hit, sometimes the best move is to redirect the energy. Put on her favourite comfort show, challenge her to a game, or get her outside for some time in the sun (don’t force it, though). The goal isn’t to ‘cheer her up’—it’s to give her brain a break from the discomfort.
6. Give her space without disappearing
If she’s curled up in bed with a heating pad, don’t take it personally. Say, “I’ll be in the lounge if you need me,” and let her hibernate. But check in with “I’m ordering takeaways—want pizza?” It’s the balance of giving room while still showing you’re present.
7. Give being overly positive a break
Phrases like “Just power through!” or “It’s only a few days!” are well-meaning but dismissive. Instead, try:
“This sucks. I’m sorry.”
“Want me to rub your back or leave you alone?”
“Let’s cancel those plans—I’ll make popcorn.”
Acknowledge the suck. You don’t have to fix it.
8. Follow her lead on intimacy
Some people crave closeness during their period (cuddles = endorphins!). Others feel tender or just plain gross. Ask, “What feels good for you right now?” and respect the answer.
Supporting your partner on her period isn’t about grand gestures on day one and radio silence by day three. It’s about folding their clothes when they’re too tired, remembering their weird cravings, and never acting like their body is a problem to solve. Show up, shut up and just be there.
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Feature Image: Pexels
