At first, the symptoms seemed inconspicuous, whispers of discomfort that I brushed aside as the normal aches and pains of a busy life. But as days turned into weeks, and weeks into months, those whispers grew louder, echoing throughout my body. I found myself facing a reality where every movement became an ordeal, and simple tasks turned into Herculean feats.
My body was in constant pain, and I felt extremely weak and tired. This was before I learned that I have fibromyalgia, a chronic condition characterised by widespread pain, fatigue, and a myriad of other symptoms.
This is a little glimpse into my life with fibromyalgia, in light of Fibromyalgia Awareness Month, which has just passed.
What is Fibromyalgia?
Fibromyalgia is a chronic condition that thousands of people live with every day.
The condition is mainly characterised by widespread musculoskeletal pain or pain in the muscles and bones. It is often accompanied by a range of other symptoms, including fatigue, sensitivity to touch, sleep disturbances, cognitive difficulties or ‘fibro fog’ as I like to call it, headaches, depression, and anxiety.
It is a sneaky condition because it mimics symptoms of other conditions. To add fuel to the fire, there is no precise test to diagnose fibromyalgia so after a long process of elimination, I was diagnosed. This was a tough period for me.
Fibromyalgia is an autoimmune condition that amplifies painful sensations by affecting the way your brain and spinal cord process painful and non-painful signals.
In other words, the pain receptors in my body had one job and one job only…but they don’t get it done. In fact, they act out and make any physical pain that I feel ten times worse than it should be. However, I’m not just speaking about knocking my toe – pain lingers in my body all day every day.
A bit of background…
I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia at the age of 20, but it’s believed the onset of this condition started much earlier in my life. In my case, the condition was overlooked for years and misdiagnosed for growing pains due to fibromyalgia’s quality of mimicking other conditions.
Fibromyalgia is the most mind-bending and misunderstood condition out there but hopefully, by creating more awareness around it, there can be more understanding of what people living with this condition must go through. Which is ultimately being in pain, all the time.
I don’t remember when I first started feeling the pain that I could not explain, but I knew it was there and affecting my approach to life in a way that hindered me from doing simple daily tasks.
I was tested for almost everything under the sun from arthritis and lupus to mental disorders and possible brain and spinal injuries.
My favourite test of all (reads sarcastic) was the tests neurologists (the brain doctors) do! To be pricked and prodded to see how my body reacts to pain stimulus was not fun but in hindsight, it helped us to arrive at a proper diagnosis, finally.
Creating awareness around Fibro
Physically, there aren’t many symptoms I experience that are visible. A person living with fibromyalgia may not appear to be experiencing life any differently than you do. Internally though, it’s a different story. The inflammation of the bones and muscles causes constant pain that must be endured. I have no bruises on my body but blue marks randomly appear that are caused by the inflammation of my muscles pressing against my skin from the inside.
What you see and what I feel are two very different things!
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Symptoms vary from person to person, and every condition is so different. My symptoms experienced with fibromyalgia include:
- Constant throbbing pain.
- Fatigue, even after the best night’s rest.
- Headaches.
- Anxiety due to pain management.
- Guilt.
- Stiffness.
- Numbness & weakness in the hands.
Every day ranks differently on my pain scale and by grace, I’ve been blessed with many good pain days, ranking around 4/10 but then there are days where pain reaches a level of 8-9/10. I’ve learned my coping mechanisms, so I know what my body needs on tougher days.
What soothes my pain:
- Cardio/Strength training.
- Warmth.
- Pilates.
- Acupuncture.
- Sleep.
- Support.
What exaggerates my pain:
- Winter.
- Dairy.
- Stress.
- Being horizontal for too long.
Managing fibromyalgia the right way.
I have fallen in love with exercise and being in the gym – my confidant in pain management. I’ve had to learn to listen to my body and know when to brace myself for tougher periods, like winter, which has just arrived.
Any cold amplifies the painful symptoms I experience, sometimes to a point where I don’t have the physical ability to move around normally.
My saving grace, as I’ve said, is to push myself in the gym. I love lifting heavy weights to stay healthy, build strength in my muscles and trick my body into feeling gym pain, rather than fibro pain.
My outlook on fibromyalgia now.
If you had spoken to me a few years ago about my condition, it would’ve presented me with anger, confusion, a ton of complaints, and a massive pity party.
Once I began to understand my condition and how it affects me personally, learning my coping mechanisms and staying away from things that aggravate my pain, I can honestly say that I finally know how to manage my pain well and I accept the condition I have. I know there’s no cure, so I need to take care in managing the symptoms.
Although I do still have days where I feel totally incapacitated from pain and muscle stiffness, I pride myself on having a positive attitude and mindset toward my condition. I can mope around, but how is that going to benefit anything?
It’s all about making the active decision to not allow my pain to be my purpose. I fully allow myself to feel through the bad days and live in the good days. Thankfully, there are more good days.
It’s all about support!
Without the support from family and friends, I would not be able to manage my condition as well as I do.
Support and a community going through the same thing are important, days can get darker than you think and you need someone to see you, acknowledge what you’re going through, and accommodate you when you’re battling.
An awareness page on Instagram and a women’s online community on Facebook helped me as well to understand this condition. I love that I have a support system that holds me up when I’m in pain, it continues to motivate me.
Due to the lack of awareness and understanding of this complex condition, people often mistake pain and fatigue as laziness.
When people express the pain they’re experiencing verbally, it may just sound like they’re complaining. It’s tough when someone who doesn’t understand the condition says something like “Just be positive or go for a walk ” or “It’s all in your head!”
If you know someone living with a chronic pain condition, educate yourself on the condition and support that person. It helps more than you think.
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Featured Image: Amy Steenkamp
